Monday, April 6, 2009

immediate tears. [and suffocation] (beginning of a thought but never finished)

i feel completely empty.

(i just remembered....he didn't like holding hands in public.)

it's not even about him. it's just the thought that made me feel empty. i don't even know myself anymore. what is my problem? i can't commit. me, the one who has always wanted serious relationships, cannot commit. what happened to me?

i have no idea what caused this change. i am scared. of everything. i used to live in the moment and be free. i tell myself i am doing that now, but i must be lying. i have become this detached person. i don't even feel. ::heartbeat::

"It made me think that everything was about to arrive--the moment when you know all and everything is decided forever."
this quote seems relevant, but not in a good way.




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