"you have fucked up now"

Lol. I am so glad I found out what I did. Bye.



<3 thank you smr.

i give up.

i was upset as fuck because you let me go. i was upset because i felt for you.

i don't know what i feel for anyone anymore. i am so lost and confused. yes, still.

because feelings don't fade at the drop of a dime and now you are trying to come back.

but then there's him. it is not fair to him. but is it fair to deny my feelings? what the hell do i do?



just erase everything and start from new?
that seems to be the best idea. but i can't live without...them.

I am so sorry...I swear I have never been in this position before.

Fuck.

Fuuuuu#$%@&*^@&*^&*@^&!????!??&%^!&%$%!!!!

Reaaaallly?!! Owell.

I feel this...
















via icanread



ps. jerk.

Dream. You. Our lips.

I had a dream last night...about you. Well you were in it. We were together, physically, like in person, but not as a couple. I don't know where we were, but we were trying to find our way around; it was like a maze. Some parts of it were like a big open venue of some sort and others were secluded and it was just us. I walked and you followed me. Then we sat next to each other, nervous. We leaned into each other and you reached your lips out to mine. We kissed. Soft and loving...numerous times. So real I could feel it. I could feel your lips and your hands. I knew there was something not right about this. It felt like an understanding...an understanding that we were no longer us.

For we haven't been for over a year.

But it was a special moment, like a goodbye...bittersweet. I haven't dreamt of you or even had an episode of missing you for many many months. I don't know why it happened. So all day I thought about your lips touching mine...and thought...can I ever find someone to make me feel the way you did? I am sure I will. This dream was just the oddest thing. I have been over it for a long time and have accepted things. I think it was more about the feeling than us really. I haven't had that feeling again, not since us. I long for it. And when it comes...I will know that all is well and it is possible to truly "love" someone again. For my heart has been holding back ever since...not because I want it to...but because it just hasn't happened. Maybe it forgot what the feeling was like. But I dreamt of the feeling...and it all came back to me. My dreams needed to remind me of what true love is like. It's the touch of the lips and the feeling of forever with a nervousness in the chest. You did that to me. Who will make me feel that way now? I can only hope that whoever it is, that they will do it forever. For I am not sure my heart can handle another loss like that. Thank you for making me feel love. For now I know what I am looking for. I wish you the best. I will always love you, not in a romantic way anymore, but as an important being in my life. Just thought I would share my dream with you. Thanks for reading.