Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Myrtle Wanda
Well I found my grandma's death certificate and found out what two medications she overdosed on when she died. I researched them too. I wish I knew her. I wish I could have saved her. I feel like she is a part of me.
You see...
I have this sensitivity when it comes to the issue of suicide.
You see...
I have this sensitivity when it comes to the issue of suicide.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Monday, March 15, 2010
Sunday, March 14, 2010
I think about you all of the time.
I'm going to have to think about what I want to say. Because right now, I am yet again speechless...and I have that feeling in my chest...nervousness.
ps- I would never leave your life like all of your other friends, if you didn't keep me out of it. I'd still like to be able to talk to you. I do miss you. You are one of the most important people to ever be in my life. This is NOT easy on me either. I usually put on a front anymore. Ugh. Sometimes I wish you were only an IM away.
ps- I would never leave your life like all of your other friends, if you didn't keep me out of it. I'd still like to be able to talk to you. I do miss you. You are one of the most important people to ever be in my life. This is NOT easy on me either. I usually put on a front anymore. Ugh. Sometimes I wish you were only an IM away.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
it is a lovely day.
Too bad I am at work.
I wish I had like a month off, so I can make some major progress with my organization at home. I am going through everything and getting rid of a lot. And also taking trips down memory lane constantly. It is crazy what you find in your house that you have kept and just not uncovered for years. I found a whole tub filled with teen magazines I used to collect. Wow. Half of those magazines are not even in print anymore. Makes me feel old now. And then there are diaries, journals, etc that provide proof of your thoughts many years ago and tell you what happened in your life. A lot of things just led me to a laugh and a smile. Anyhow, this process is coming along...just so much stuff. I'd like to get some things done around the house too, like maybe paint my room or something. Mom and I are wanting to put new flooring in too. We just gotta save up for it or something. New flooring would be so nice.
I finally got finished with James's moon and earth picture. It looks pretty cool. Jamey told me to order a 12x18 of it for the store. I bet that will make James feel special. Lol.
So all in all everything is going well, except for money and hours and such. But I do not let that get me down anymore. Just have to stay positive. However, I am still considering the Masters of Art Therapy program that Herron will have come Fall 2011. I think I am going to try for it. Looks like with all of that and where I am at at this stage in the game, family life is something that will be a late start for me. Never imagined it would but it is nonetheless. Owell, get all my ducks in a row then be more at ease later. All will be well.
I know he kicked me out of his life, but I haven't heard a thing about Steve. He doesn't write anymore either. I hope he is okay. I do think about him. Sigh.
Well, I hope this weather stays. It puts me in a good mood and makes me feel cleansed. That and the organization at home. It all makes me feel good.
Dad is out of the hospital and at home now. He has a lot of changes he has to make now though. He went into critical care thinking he didn't have any health issues at all. He came out with a diagnoses of Coronary Artery Disease, Congestive Heart Failure, Diabetes, High Blood Pressure, and High Cholesterol. I am so glad that he went when he did. They said much longer and he may have not been here today. So hopefully we can get him to make some good lifestyle changes.
As for Mom, her knee is hurting her now because of the bone to bone. But that is a minor concern. We did get good news at the last Cancer appointment. They said her Cat Scan was clear and nothing bad was found. So that made us all really happy. She will continue to be checked every 3 months. So hopefully it stays gone because I need my mother. :)
Uhh, can't think of any other updates at the moment. So enjoy the weather and I hope everyone is doing okay.
Thinking of you,
Sam
I wish I had like a month off, so I can make some major progress with my organization at home. I am going through everything and getting rid of a lot. And also taking trips down memory lane constantly. It is crazy what you find in your house that you have kept and just not uncovered for years. I found a whole tub filled with teen magazines I used to collect. Wow. Half of those magazines are not even in print anymore. Makes me feel old now. And then there are diaries, journals, etc that provide proof of your thoughts many years ago and tell you what happened in your life. A lot of things just led me to a laugh and a smile. Anyhow, this process is coming along...just so much stuff. I'd like to get some things done around the house too, like maybe paint my room or something. Mom and I are wanting to put new flooring in too. We just gotta save up for it or something. New flooring would be so nice.
I finally got finished with James's moon and earth picture. It looks pretty cool. Jamey told me to order a 12x18 of it for the store. I bet that will make James feel special. Lol.
So all in all everything is going well, except for money and hours and such. But I do not let that get me down anymore. Just have to stay positive. However, I am still considering the Masters of Art Therapy program that Herron will have come Fall 2011. I think I am going to try for it. Looks like with all of that and where I am at at this stage in the game, family life is something that will be a late start for me. Never imagined it would but it is nonetheless. Owell, get all my ducks in a row then be more at ease later. All will be well.
I know he kicked me out of his life, but I haven't heard a thing about Steve. He doesn't write anymore either. I hope he is okay. I do think about him. Sigh.
Well, I hope this weather stays. It puts me in a good mood and makes me feel cleansed. That and the organization at home. It all makes me feel good.
Dad is out of the hospital and at home now. He has a lot of changes he has to make now though. He went into critical care thinking he didn't have any health issues at all. He came out with a diagnoses of Coronary Artery Disease, Congestive Heart Failure, Diabetes, High Blood Pressure, and High Cholesterol. I am so glad that he went when he did. They said much longer and he may have not been here today. So hopefully we can get him to make some good lifestyle changes.
As for Mom, her knee is hurting her now because of the bone to bone. But that is a minor concern. We did get good news at the last Cancer appointment. They said her Cat Scan was clear and nothing bad was found. So that made us all really happy. She will continue to be checked every 3 months. So hopefully it stays gone because I need my mother. :)
Uhh, can't think of any other updates at the moment. So enjoy the weather and I hope everyone is doing okay.
Thinking of you,
Sam
Monday, March 8, 2010
Friday, March 5, 2010
Moments.
I am an observer. Looking is my passion. The moments are what I keep. Moments with everyone I've loved in my life. Family, friends, boyfriends. I always find myself wanting to live certain moments over again just to feel it once more. I have learned to smile and appreciate what I have experienced. Not to dwell on the fact that a relationship has gone. Of course there are friends I wish I didn't lose or didn't fade. But what can you do? People change and they go. Can't I just hold onto the moments I have archived in my mind. I don't really know what I am getting at here. I just felt the need to express my passion. My passion of seeing.
Monday, March 1, 2010
The Color Orange
“You ache with love. You cry sometimes, because you know two things: you know that you’ve never felt this good before. You also know that it couldn’t possibly last forever. You want it to. You want it frozen. You want to stop time, right there, as he hands you your toothbrush, or as he pulls you back from the curb of the street for one more kiss. You want to be able to pull them closer than the hug, into your body, so you can keep the smell of them inside you, next to you, all around you. You love someone and it hurts. You love someone and it is very, very good. Not only do you feel better about yourself, you feel better about people, life, animals, and the color orange.”
- Unknown
- Unknown
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