I'm Selfish

I am selfish.

I was hurt...really hurt. He came along and did nothing more than love me more than anyone ever had. I was too fucking blind to see it, to see that he was in fact giving his all while I was still believing others lies. Why didn't I just let him go or give him a true chance?
This man is one of the most interesting people I will ever come to meet in my entire life. Now he is no longer a part of it. My fault I know. But now I failed, he is with someone else and so am I. I do question what would have happened if I truly gave him a chance. I just want someone to tell me that I made the right decision in not doing so. I will never be able to truly make up for all the pain I caused him, because the only way to do so is to give him what he fought for for so long. I am sorry I will never be able to make it up to you. I am selfish though, because I can't stand the fact that his love for me is fading. I don't know why I want him to love me when I don't love him back. I just wish every single day that we could be friends. I don't want him gone out of my life. But he is fading and now he is hating me more and more every day. This hurts. But I caused it. I honestly don't know what I ever felt for him...I just know it felt good, him loving me. How do I let go?






"........leave your things behind
'cause it's all going off without you
excuse me, too busy you're writing your tragedy
these mishaps
you bubble wrap
when you've no idea what you're like

so let go, jump in
oh well, whatcha waiting for
it's alright
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown
so let go, just get in
oh, it's so amazing here
it's alright
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown........"










help me learn how to truly be sorry and do the right thing for you...